Bob Eubanks shares advice on marriage
by By JOYANNA LOVE Banner Staff Writer
Aug 26, 2013 | 1110 views | 0 0 comments | 10 10 recommendations | email to a friend | print
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Bob Eubanks shared moments from his “The Newlywed Game” days and the marriage and life wisdom he feels he gained from them during the Bradley Sunrise Rotary’s Sunset Gala Saturday.

“I want to talk to you about relationships. I don’t pretend to know everything, but I have learned a lot,” Eubanks said.

His major advice to women was to never insult a man’s manhood or his mother, while he warned men against talking about past girlfriends.

The crowd erupted in laughter as they watched clips from “The Newlywed Game” of people who did not follow this advice.

In his early days on the show, Eubanks said he was extremely nervous because he had never been on TV before. He had been chosen for the show from an audition pool of radio disk jockeys.

“I had never been on television before, but I was lucky enough to win the audition,” Eubanks said. “I was served a felony subpoena 30 seconds before I went out to do my first Newlywed Game. At the end of the show, (producer) Chuck Barris ... came to me and he said, ‘We have a problem ... you just went half an hour without blinking.’ That’s how scared I was.”

One of the early challenges was getting contestants to open up and talk more.

“I had a hit television show, and I didn’t know how to do it,” Eubanks said.

He realized early on that contestants wanted to talk about themselves, not hear about him.

“People don’t want to know about you, they want you to know about them,” Eubanks said.

To put contestants at ease, the show host began meeting with couples before the tapings and asked them questions about themselves.

“I would ask about their families, and all of a sudden up they would come ... and the shows got funny,” Eubanks said.

Sometimes contestants had the opposite problem — they talked too much.

“I want to show you a couple with no communication skills at all,” Eubanks said.

Throughout the clip, the conversation is unintelligible because both the husband and wife are talking nonstop at the same time.

“We have to be very, very careful in our relationships about criticism. We start pecking at each other, ‘Why did you do this? ... I tell you it can kill a love.”

He said many use criticism just to try to feel better about themselves.

Eubanks said spouses should honestly answer one question: “What is it like being married to me?”

The importance of showing others they are valued was highlighted during Eubanks’ work as a concert producer. While producing a concert for The Beatles in 1964 at the Hollywood Bowl, the band asked to have a chance to talk to Eubanks.

“I was having a tough day ... (Paul) McCartney says, ‘We understand that you are having a bad day.’ I said, ‘Oh, yeah!’ He said, ‘We also understand you are doing a really good job, so if there is anything we can do, just let us know,’” Eubanks said. ‘Folks I wasn’t having a bad day after that, because they validated what I was doing. That is so important.”

Eubanks said the band made a great first impression.

In this technological age, Eubanks said it is still important to have “people skills.”

“God did not make us to be isolationists,” Eubanks said.

Eubanks has four children. The oldest is retired from the L.A. Fire Department and went into the art business. His daughter is a scriptwriter.

His son Corey is a successful stuntman.

None of his three older children went to college. Though he is a proponent of higher education, Eubanks said each person has a unique set of abilities, and the world has room for all of them.

“My oldest son is 54 and my youngest son just turned 10,” Eubanks said. “If you’re a father and you leave home at 6 o’clock in the morning and are out until 7 or 8 o’clock at night, and you don’t watch your children grow up, you are making the stupidest mistake you’ll ever make.

“I didn’t see my older children grow up, and it took me years to see that and heal those relationships,” Eubanks said.

Eubanks said his wife, Deborah, has helped him in many ways.

“What did I learn from Deb? I learned what unconditional love was,” Eubanks said. “I would rather die then cheat on her. I also learned how important it is to have God in your live. She has literally changed my world.”

The Bradley Sunrise Sunset Gala also featured silent and live auctions. Proceeds from the night will be used for the club’s projects locally and internationally.