The Emmys last Sunday night, that is.
I didn’t watch it either despite the fact that I could probably sign up at a Betty Ford clinic for TV-watching addiction.
But they gave a reason, the others that didn’t watch, and I quite frankly feel they hit the nail right on the head.
“It’s not like it used to be,” I was told by my friend. “All the big stars are dead and gone; at least, the good ones.”
Maybe it’s the same with me.
Maybe it’s I who’s not what I used to be and my knowledge of current TV stars is dead and gone; at least, for all the good ones like:
- Richard Chamberlain, or rather Dr. James Kildare. Bet you didn’t know his character’s first name was James. I sure didn’t.
- Vince Edwards, or Dr. Ben Casey.
- Agent Maxwell Smart, or Don Adams.
- Betcha you won’t know this one. Sgt. Sam Troy. He was portrayed by the now deceased — died at the young age of 52 — Christopher George on the show “The Rat Patrol.” Betcha don’t know who one of his fellow actors turned out to be either. Hans Gudegast played Christopher George’s arch nemesis on the show — Hauptmann (meaning Captain in German) Hans Dietrich. Well, does it ring a bell? Nope. Well, daytime soap opera fans know him better as Eric Braeden, who currently portrays the infamous Victor Newman on “The Young and the Restless.”
- Elizabeth Montgomery who played Samantha Stephens, a young-looking witch who marries a mortal.
- Illya Kuryakin or rather David McCallum of current “NCIS” fame.
- And who could forget Honey West, a.k.a. Anne Francis?
- And Mr. Ed. I almost forgot about this sarcastic sweetie pie.
- Barbara Eden as Jeannie.
- Chuck Conners as “The Rifleman.”
- Walter Brennan and Richard Crenna as “The Real McCoys.”
- Richard Basehart as Admiral Harriman Nelson from ... you remember. Take a second. Yep. From “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.” I loved that show with all its plastic and rubbery sea monsters!
- Sue Ann Nivens. You know, Betty White from the “Mary Tyler Moore Show.” No wait, she’s still around, isn’t she? And still a pretty big TV star in her own right. Why wasn’t she nominated for an Emmy?
- Efrem Zimbalist Jr., Adam West ... OK, well, maybe I can understand why he wasn’t nominated ... Lorne Greene, Ty Hardin — Wow, he’s an oldie but a goodie! — Eva Gabor, Richard Boone and the list goes on and on and on.
Anyway, I have no clue who 95 percent of the winners from this year’s Emmys are. But I do know who all these — and then some — folks I just mentioned are.
But, just for record’s sake, this year a show titled "Homeland" earned its first Emmy in the category for Best Outstanding Drama Series at the 64th Emmy Awards. I’m not even sure I ever heard the name of this show until last Sunday — but not on the Emmy’s. Apparently, the news broadcast that it was one of President Barack Obama’s favorite shows.
Hmm. That probably makes sense since, as far as I know, this “Homeland” show is about a POW from Afghanistan returning home, and all sorts of political and military intrigue in which he and his cohorts become involved.
The list of other fellow competitors in this same category is equally, if not more so, unfamiliar to me — “Boardwalk Empire,” “Breaking Bad,” “Downton Abbey,” “Game of Thrones” and “Mad Men.”
Oh no, wait. I have heard of “Mad Men.” A show about a 1960s advertising agency, yes? Again, I’m not sure since I have never watched the show — yet — but from the name and the couple of trailers, that’s what I gather. Nope. Never watched it either.
A show called "Modern Family" won for the Best Outstanding Comedy Series category — for the third year in a row now, apparently. Who knew? Again, I know I didn’t. Although the name of this show did sound like I had heard it before.
The Lead Actress in a Drama Series was won by Claire Danes from (again) “Homeland,” with Kathy Bates from “Harry’s Law,” — a show I have watched and like a lot — Glenn Close from “Damages,” Michelle Dockery from “Downton Abbey,” Julianna Margulies from “The Good Wife” which I used to watch but now has gotten boring and uncomfortably contrived, and Elisabeth Moss from “Mad Men.”
The Lead Actor in a Drama Series again went to a “Homeland” actor, this one by the name of Damian Lewis. I understand he’s a Brit. Again, from a previous column I wrote, I ask again ... they couldn’t find a single American anywhere that could have played this part and, instead, they had to outsource it? The other contenders in this category were Hugh Bonneville from “Downton Abbey,” Steve Buscemi from “Boardwalk Empire” — I have NEVER heard of this show ever before in my life! — Bryan Cranston from “Breaking Bad,” Michael C. Hall from “Dexter,” and Jon Hamm from “Mad Men.”
The Outstanding Comedy Series was won by “Modern Family.” Never once watched it. Its competitors were “The Big Bang Theory,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Girls,” “30 Rock,” and “Veep.”
What happened to one of my favorite comedies ... “Community?” Not even an honorable mention?
You know. I just realized that if anyone under the age of 30 is reading this — which in itself is highly unlikely, given the current newspaper readership across the country — they would be as unfamiliar with my cast of favorite TV celebrities that I feel deserve Emmys as I am with the ones that just won their categories last weekend.
I guess I better start watching even more television than I already watch. After all, I have years and years and years of ground to make up.
What do you think?