At first glance, it might seem like kids only think about popsicles and postponing bedtime, but they are much more complex than that. It turns out they also think about what the moon is made of and which type of shoe is the best for showing toes off (in addition to popsicles and postponing bedtime).
This is my interview with a 3-year-old.
Debra: Thanks for letting me interview you, Molly. Do you know what an interview is?
Molly: It’s where somebody asks somebody something. So you’re gonna ask me something.
D: You’re right! What is your idea of the best day ever?
M: Flying in my Poppy’s airplane and going swimming underwater.
D: That does sound fun. What are you most afraid of?
M: I’m scared of the dark and tigers and lions because they might get me.
D: Tigers and lions are pretty scary. What are the best things to eat?
M: Popsicles, string cheese, steak, chicken noodle soup, gummy worms, and raisins.
D: Describe your clothing style.
M: I like flowers on my shirts. I only want pink and blue and purple clothes. Sandals are my favorite shoes. They show my toes.
D: Showing the toes is important, huh? What are your favorite things?
M: Yes. I like to show my toes when you paint them. And my favorite things are lamps, ladybugs, my cat Huckle, singing, my bookmark, learning letters, and flowers.
D: That’s a lot of things! If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
M: Daddy or Wisha.
D: Very unique name choices. How much older are your dad and I than you?
M: About five years. You’re grownups, and I’m just a kid.
D: How old do you have to be to be a grownup?
M: Five. Or once you lose all your teeth.
D: I definitely meet the criteria. What do you think it means to be kind?
M: Kind means not hurting or pulling your cat’s tail and sharing toys.
D: That’s one way to look at it. What planet do we live on?
M: A blue and green one, I think it’s called Earth. Not the sun, that’s too hot because it’s made of fire.
D: That’s right, it’s way too hot. What is the moon made of?
D: OK, one last question for you. If you were in charge of the world, what’s the first thing you would do?
M: I would buy all of the kids in the world some treats at the store.
There you have it—the world according to a 3-year-old. Part of me wishes I could go back to being that little and naive, but the other part of me likes knowing how to parallel park, do taxes, and other grownup things I can do. You know, once all my teeth fell out.
(Debra Carpenter is a novice mother, wife, and college student. She writes a weekly column on the comedy of motherhood and blogs for The Huffington Post. She’s online at MotherInterrupted.com and Twitter @interrupted_ma.)