It takes all kinds of people to make this world go around.Each of us has our own role to play, our own purpose.Sometimes, I wonder exactly what my role should be. But I certainly know a few things I …
It takes all kinds of people to make this world go around.
Each of us has our own role to play, our own purpose.
Sometimes, I wonder exactly what my role should be. But I certainly know a few things I am not cut out for.
I would be a terrible doctor, for instance.
I’ve written before about my aversion to conversations pertaining to health prob-lems.
I cannot imagine hitting the time clock every morning knowing I was going to face health-related discussions with 50 people before I went home that evening.
This is how I see me interacting with a patient.
“Doc, I have this stabbing pain every time I try to—“
“Hang on. Say no more. I know exactly what the problem is. You’ve got what’s go-ing around.”
“But this only hurts when I—“
“Wait, wait. Stick out your tongue. Yep, it’s exactly what I thought. Take two aspirin, and if it’s not better in, oh, six years or so, I’ll refer you to a specialist. Now, that’ll be $6,425.”
I said I would be a terrible doctor, but that Jaguar out in the parking lot isn’t going to pay for itself, now is it?ds
If this is possible, I think I would be an even worse veterinarian.
Over the weekend, we had to take our cat to have her euthanized.
MacGyver had lived 15 glorious years, but it was time.
Many of you probably have been in that situation. It’s horrible. This was my third time.
I can’t stand to see someone upset. I just thank God that we have people in this world who can come to work on a Saturday morning knowing they are about to have to console grieving pet owners.
Of course, I realize that medical careers are rewarding, but I am happy to let some of you guys reap those rewards.
I also don’t think I could ever be too good at cutting hair.
I’m pretty sure if I did, I would keep my repertoire down to three or four styles.
“Which one of the Monkees would you like? Let’s go with the Peter. I don’t think you can pull off the Davy. Snip, snip. That’ll be $250, Mary.”
It’s obvious I would make lots more money if I were doing something else.
Public service would never be for me, either.
Over the past few years, Kim and I have gotten to know several city employees through our business ventures. They include both hired and elected officials.
It seems every time my old college roommate calls me, I’m doing something related to this. It’s gotten to the point that he has started teasing me about running for office.
I cannot even fathom how horrible I would be at that.
I can only imagine having to answer phone call after endless phone call.
“No, I don’t know why the grass in the median on Elm Street hasn’t been cut.”
“No, I cannot get you out of that traffic ticket.”
“Are you kidding me? I don’t know why there’s a rezoning sign up in your neigh-bor’s yard.”
If I ever did run for office, though, I already know what my campaign slogan would be: “Mind your own business, and I’ll call you if I need you.”
That’s never going to fit on a bumper sticker.
(About the writer: Barry Currin is founder and president of White Oak Advertising and Public Relations, based in Cleveland. “Stories of a World Gone Mad” is published weekly. Email the writer at firstname.lastname@example.org.)
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